My apologies to Boston for giving credit to Journey (first service on Sunday) for the song “More Than A Feeling”. We are heading into week 2 of “The Art of Marriage” sermon series and every week we are giving away a copy of “The Meaning of Marriage” by Timothy and Kathy Keller. Answer the following question in the comment section below to have a chance at this weeks book. I will let you know by 12:00 p.m. on Friday.
This weeks question, “why is it important to believe that love is more than a feeling?”
This Sunday at OBC we begin “The Art of Marriage” sermon series. For the next six weeks we will be giving away one copy of Tim and Kathy Keller’s book entitled, “The Meaning of Marriage”. To enter for a chance to receive a copy of this book answer this question in the comment box, “How has what God has done for you in Jesus Christ transformed your understanding of the nature of marriage?” This Friday at 12:00 p.m. I will announce who gets the book.
Sunday’s sermon was about the one thing that we, the church, are supposed to do. More fundamental than anything else we give God glory. This impacts how view our life scattered throughout the week in the workplace, at the arena coaching, and in our homes interacting with our children. It should dramatically impact our gatherings together on Sundays. Whether gathered or scattered to give God glory will necessitate an awareness on our part that glory is what God already possesses. He is glorious. There is no greater evidence of God’s glory than the grace he gives to us through Jesus Christ.
Being present in our awareness is not always that easy. We are easily distracted. So that is why I am challenging myself and all other pastors to give those who gather along with us on Sunday mornings a reason to give God glory. Many of us grow frustrated that those that stream into the auditorium on Sunday morning are not ready to fully engage in worship and give God glory. We wish parents of young children who have just experienced organized chaos in their home twenty minutes earlier and a sleepless previous eight hours were ready to shine the spotlight on God and express passion for God. We wish the doctor on call sitting fifteen rows back could get his mind off the patient he just left in the hospital and focus his attention on God. We hope that our co-workers can stop long enough on Sunday morning to think about God and not the person who needs something from them. We long for the Sunday when the sense of anticipation is ”off the charts”.
It is incumbent on us that we orient one another to God’s glory so that all can respond and give Him glory. No more wimpy worship! Let us give those that gather a reason to respond right from the very beginning of our time together. Let us give them a glimpse of God in all of His glory. Let us give them something grander than our instruments or oratory skills. Let us show them the God of the Scriptures full of grace and truth. Let us not assume they will piece it all together. Let us boldly proclaim the greatness of God. Let us shine the spotlight on Him first and watch the hearts of others follow.
If I have hurt someone should I seek forgiveness or should the person who has been hurt be the one who initiates teh process? In Matthew 5:23-25 Jesus speaks to the person who is aware that their brother has something against them and tells them to go and make it right, to settle matters quickly. In Matthew 18:15 and following Jesus talks about the person who has been sinned against and tells them that they should go to the person who has offended them.
It seems that the issue is a matter of awareness. So if you are aware that you have been sinned against or you have committed a sin against someone – make it right. Jesus places a high value on relationships.
Forgiveness starts with an attitude of being forgiving and ends in a transaction of forgiveness between two people. Most of us may find that after we have experienced a transaction of forgiveness with someone else that there is a time in the future when we find that we are experiencing continued deep hurt over what the person did a number of years ago. What to do?
First, note that forgiveness does not mean that we forget. Verses that talk about God forgetting our sins are not a references to God experiencing some kind of memory block, that somehow the all knowing one does not know. Not remembering means not using it against someone. Second, if you find yourself growing bitter confess your sin of bitterness. Bitterness is different from feelingthe pain of an action committed against you. Sometimes past wounds don’t completely heal. The New Heavens and the New Earth await us for complete healing. When you feel the ain of past hurt and begin to stew over it is when bitterness begins to sink in. We always have a choice as to how we are going to deal with the hurts and pains.
I believe that what we need to do is in the midst of these ongoing pains and hurst we continue to practice “being forgiving”. If you have gone through the transaction of forgiveness with someone and you find yourself wanting to use that sin against them the matter is a “heart issue” that needs confession and the ongoing ministry of God addressing the wounds of our life.
When hurt happens in a relationship between a husband and a wife does reconciling mean having a new “normal” relationship with a spouse because of a lack of trust or does a lack of trust mean that true reconciliation has not happened?
I have heard many times these words, “she saide she forgave me how come she doesn’t trust me, tell her she needs to trust me!” There is no doubt that trust is essential in a relationship and that the only way someone will give trust is if the one being given the trust is perceived to be trustworthy. That is why I believe that reconciliation and restoration of a relationship is more like a spectrum which as trust is restored there is a deeper level of reconciliaiton that takes place. Trust takes time and consistency over a period of time.
Recently I had a discussion with eight 30 something married men from my church about preaching. We eventually talked about what things they would like to see more of in sermons. One comment summed it all up for me, “we want sermons to be like Steve Jobs presentations”. Whereas my gold standard for preaching is men like Haddon Robinson these 30 something men had their own gold standard for communication, Steve Jobs.
So what do Haddon Robinson and Steve Jobs have in common? Should they have much in common? Should our sermons be more like Steve Jobs’ presentations?
The Presentation Secrets of Steve Jobs
I would like to recommend the book, “Unpacking Forgiveness: biblical answers for complex questions and deep wounds” by Chris Brauns. In this book he gives some helpful suggestions to deal with the very real issue of bitterness. I will highlight some of these suggestions here.The Apostle Paul writes some helpful words in Romans 12:17-21 that apply to the issue of bitterness and if applied to your life will help in overcoming bitterness. First, as difficult as this may be and as contrary to how you feel, resolve to not seek revenge. “Do not repay evil for evil”, Romans 12:17. Second, proactively show love, Romans 12:20. Loving those who have hurt you is counter intuitive to our nature but it is so like Jesus. Third, wait for God’s justice and trust in his sovereign control, Romans 12:19. You can take your hand off of this situation knowing that God ultimately judges sin and he is in control of your life. As you contemplate these wise and life giving words you will find that they will help you deal with bitterness.You should also confess before God what bitterness is, it is a sin. As challenging as the circumstances of our lives can be at times, bitterness is not something that is done to us but it is a response that we choose to live with.
Don’t forget to check out the walls of the Prayer Room at OBC this Sunday and “fill the walls”. Who has God brought into your life to share your faith story? See some of our staff praying over the names this week.
The vast majority of questions that we received after the sermon on forgiveness had to do with our relationship with someone who is unrepentant.There is a difference between being forgiving and the transaction of forgiveness for sins. Being forgiving is a matter of your heart. In Mark 11:25 Jesus asks us to be forgiving which is something that we should always be ready to and with grace do. God is always forgiving, he desires to forgive, and he also fulfills the transaction of forgiveness when someone repents of their sin. The same is true of our interaction with one another.If someone has truly committed a sin against you, a deep offense, then reconciliation with that person will require not only your willingness to forgive but the transaction of forgiveness that is dependent on repentance. We must always desire to be forgiving but reconciliation in your relationships will only take place if repentance takes place and you respond with a commitment of “I forgive you”. (Matthew 18:15-17 and Luke 17:3)The Scriptures teach that it takes two to forgive and reconcile.
